Purple Paisley

Lately I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed & My faith in humanity and the omniverse in general has been flagging. But this story is not about that. Although, my self immolation is an integral part of this story.
The is about the kind of random awesomeness that happens to me literally all the time and I know it is this universe’s way of saying hey don’t lose hope. It’s the small things really, you know?
I went to the charity run thrift store where they let people have stuff and I’m not ashamed; if there’s any perk to being poor, it’s that other nice people give you free stuff that other poor people donate. I have always loved thrift stores even when I had money because I hate how we just throw things away. Recycle y’all. Everything has purpose.
Also, since I’ve had to flee every living space in the last 7 years without most of my personal belongings, I’m so sick of starting over but I do need grown up things like knives & food. I keep my expectations low & my gratitude high because I am grateful & nobody has to do these gracious acts but many do & I appreciate that. It guides me in my own personal practice to pay their kindness forward out of ultimate respect. And it’s all good and well. They offer a little bit of food which is great, it helps when you’re on a very tight budget. They also offer clothes and what not; I’ve gotten a couple of pair of cute shoes there. But today 2 great things happened. #1 I found A completely intact set of Sears hot rollers with all the original pins to hold them in and it’s the same set I 1st had in 6th grade approximately 40 years ago. I love hot rollers so much this was the find of a century. I plugged them in and they still get kind of hot, good enough. So super stoked.
THEN, this is where it gets even AWESOMER than the food & the rollers & the knives & the weird thing to cook my eggs in the microwave without them splooging everywhere — anyway, I digress.
#2 I was on my scooter and I ended up getting a lot more stuff than I was expecting because I had not gone into the houseware department of this awesome place before. So I’m trying to stack things up on my scooter and I have my backpack and I have a little basket in the back but I also have these 2 plastic sacks; my rollers and what not. I am trying to stack this to get home on my scooter, and mind you there are 30mph winds today, my entire trip was comical, my scooter kept swerving & the wind almost stopped me dead as my electric scooter struggled to meet its power head on. I had to take back roads to use buildings as shelter. It was nutso!
Anyway! As I’m about to leave with this ridiculous bounty, a very nice gentleman named Daniel walked up to me and he said I think I have a bag for you to put those extra things in if that will help you and I was embarrassed. I had already gotten so many awesome things on this visit and I didn’t wanna be greedy. But you know he was offering and I did need it, so I said yes. Instantly I felt terrible because I was like oh my gosh someone else probably needs that bag and I should have thought ahead… I just always feel like I’m taking too much and not giving enough. Even though I know that’s not true, I just don’t succeed as often as I want to help people & I take every failure to heart. It’s a very ugly inner dialogue I inherited from my mother. I’m working on it.
So when he comes out & hands me THIS BAG, I mean this freaking particular bag, I almost cried. I thought he was gonna bring me a burlap sack, which I would’ve loved! Sincerely. But Daniel brought me this delightful PURPLE & PAISLEY tote in brand new condition. This place is a loosely organized garage sale. Knick knacks. Curios. Crap. I love it all but it overwhelms me. It doesn’t take much for me to be overstimulated with the everything being everywhere. Smells. Colors. I can’t stay in there very long.
Anyone who knows me eventually learns 3 of my favorite things in all of reality are the color purple 💜 & (among many patterns) the paisley & mandala (Buddhist inspired) designs. (Patterns & textures & colors & smells & tastes may all be both triggers or calming agents for my C-PTSD & autism) They both comfort me like nag champa & Egyptian Licorice tea. I adore them both. So when I tell you, this man Daniel, who I had never laid eyes on me before he approached me, went into this warehouse of chaos & tchotchkes & somehow found the one bag I absolutely adored & could never turn down, I am gobsmacked! Not sure how I missed it. Or how no one else has taken it. A bag that no one who knew me for decades would have better chosen, a bag I have loved my entire life. & he just gave it to me like it wasn’t the most ginormous biggest freaking awesome deal ever. Just like that. NBD.
I think that was the Omniverse telling me I am sometimes an asshole to myself. Suggesting I can try at least being as nice to me as complete strangers are.
I’ve said so many times — I do not believe in coincidences. I really needed some kind of sign that my current efforts are valuable & my path is honorable. I don’t need lightning to strike or some grand divine gesture. A purple paisley tote from Daniel just refueled my determination & buoyed my faith perfectly. Very subtle yet not at all subtle.
Gonna send Daniel a thank you note.
I’m always grateful for any help I get from anywhere but there’s certainly something special about the Ministry of Hope organization.