Dear Cowards (Bullies)

I am torn between praying for compassion for and tearing the ass of bullies. Maybe I could do both.
IT GETS BETTER kids. It both breaks my heart and enrages me. 3 kids this month have chosen to end their lives rather than face the certain cruelty that is adolescence. I have never once in my life idly tolerated bullying, but I am lucky. My opinion of myself and what is right has always surpassed my own fear of safety.  I cannot be everywhere at all times, but here you go bullies: I AM SOMEWHERE, LOOKING FOR YOU, AND WILLING TO STOP AT NOTHING to protect others from your victimhood. Don’t act surprised, you have been warned.



Edited 1.15.11

Even though this was written on behalf of younger kids who were disappearing before our eyes, I realize that bullies do not stop at graduation. Some bullies grow up to be hate-filled, pathetic loser adults, mainly because their bullying has gone unchecked by the time they pass their teen years. These are the ones that boil my blood the most. You ought to know better. And that you don’t just makes me more resolute to teach you a very adult lesson. I’m embarrassed for you, that you lack the sense and common decency to neglect treating others with respect and I feel it my Buddhistic responsibility and my Dharmic duty to compassionately revoke your opportunity to behave in such a manner. No one has done you any favors by neglecting to set you straight, quite the opposite. So what your parents, teachers and any real friend have failed to do, I shall carry out with the utmost compassionate goal to set straight. Oh, I know, you won’t like it, but it’s for your own good. Your behavior is an eddy of karmic destruction and the fact that no one thus far has discouraged it, means everyone in your life has failed you miserably. I won’t do that to you. I won’t look the other way as you harass and bully people to avert dealing with your own misguided attempts to feel good about yourself. I do care about you, daresay more than anyone else. I will hold you responsible and I will show you the error of your ways in an attempt to assist you in successfully dealing with the karmic disaster you create with your hatefulness. So remember, what I do, I do for you. Now brace yourself, because I’m coming after you. I’m here to help, like the doctor you try to kick away who simply wants to stitch up your gushing wound that you use to insist on forcing your tainted blood on everyone to enjoin them in your misery. Ready? Here we go.


About Janis Alanis

Thinker, BS detector, champion of Reason. Unafraid. Ticked off, and riled up. View all posts by Janis Alanis

4 responses to “Dear Cowards (Bullies)

  • Melynda

    How like the universe that you would post this today.

    I’ve seen a ridiculous amount of bullying and torment imparted by and on kids and have, on several occasions, literally put myself between the bully and the bullied. I can’t count the conferences, referrals to counselors and after-school lectures I’ve participated in as an attempt to thwart what seems to be a tide of hate. It’d be easy to blame the bullies but, after five years in this business, I’m not so sure it’s that easy.

    Case in point, today I saw a normally wonderful, smart, kind, polite and adorable boy spew ugly, disgusting and hurtful words at another boy because the boy is, what I’ll call, sexually ambiguous. He behaved as a classic bully. I was shocked and stunned because I love both those boys and couldn’t believe that one would behave that way towards the other.

    It reminded me, however, that children are really not capable of bullying. Children are not capable of hate. Children are the discreet, exquisite mirrors of their world: they perfectly reflect their parents, environment, culture, and personal pain. I am fiercely curious about the what and why that caused my student bully to behave as he did; in a so shocking and frightening way.

    Just so you know, I took him outside the classroom. I told him, “I like you so much. I know you are a good person. I’m hurt that you would treat another human being in such an ugly way.” Did it make a dent? Time will tell. I’ll keep telling him.

    And the object of the bullying? He knows that I love him. He has for two years now. We, the team that is responsible for him, we guard him and support him relentlessly. He stayed late today to make me try on his new hat. Of course, it made me look like an old lady! He’s said to me before, “You’re always here, miss!” I knew what he meant, that it seemed I was always in the building, and I am, but I heard what he meant underneath the words, in between the lines. I told him, “Yep, my darlin, I’m always here.”

    For both of them, I will continue to ferociously protect my all charges and hopefully make cruelty more uncertain for adolescence.

    That’s my 25 cents worth!

  • Janis Alanis

    You gave me chills. I feel better knowing you are out there. Well done. I think bullying comes from fear, like most terrible human traits.
    Fear of the unknown, fear of the truth, fear of their own sexual identities. And what does fear create when it is not rationalized away? Hate.
    Inexplicable hate. Unreasonable hate. Hate that cannot be traced because its roots are not based on any tangible thing, but yet hide clocked in the darkness of fear.
    It pains me to no end. Such a useless endeavor.
    Keep up the good fight. Understanding is the key to eradication. Ever Vigilant.

  • Rich

    My dear friend Joon, we are lucky to have you as a fearless fighter for a true ethical morality. Melynda, I don’t believe we know one another, but I too am a teacher, and your words resonated deeply with me. I have witnessed how a reasoned, sincere voicing of disapproval can impact those fence-sitting kids–the otherwise thoughtful and sweet kids who can turn on weaker/different kids given the right circumstances. Often, these kids are/have been bullied by others, and it is natural to want to feel the power of the aggressor on occasion. Often, there is peer-pressure involved. However, the true sociopaths, I find, are students who are brimming with the kind of self-righteousness that can only come from misguided indulgence. I am often at a loss in dealing with these students. Yet, we keep trying. It’s what we do.

    • Melynda

      You know, Rich, you state beautifully what social science has already told us: just one interaction, one act of caring, just a few kind words can be the turning point. The problem being we can never know when that turning point will be! So, yes, we keep trying, we never give up. It’s our business, it’s what we are good at. I could be doing almost anything, career-wise, but nothing drives me out of bed in the morning like the thought of those kids waiting for me.

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