Do you like cookies? I like cookies. I like cookies with a big tall glass of ice cold milk. If you get 2% or Skim, the milk gets really cold, even colder if you put a pint glass in the freezer before hand.
I love to get the milk ready, twist the cookie apart, lick the inside, and put it back together, put it in my mouth and take a big gulp of nice, ice cold milk. Are you with me?
Imagine that you have been waiting all week. Its Friday, you have toiled at a thankless job, fought traffic, paid bills and on your way home you think, man, milk and cookies, yeah, that would be grand. By the time you pull into your drive, your mouth is watering, your mind is reeling, this is gonna be the best cookie and milk ever. You race to the kitchen. Pull your frosty mug from the freezer, pour the milk, eat the cookie, and slam the milk…
to find that it is three weeks old and curdled, making a sour, bitter, cottage-y cake of flour, sugar and chunky milk in your mouth.
That is how Fran Bolter makes me feel.
I can spit *patooie* all I want, but she leaves a bad taste in my brain.